I was 19 when I first heard the Hollies’ song, “He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother.” Wikipedia says the phrase can be traced back as early as 1884. Wiki reports an early use in a publication came from Ralph Waldo Trine: "Do you know that incident in connection with the little Scottish girl? She was trudging along, carrying as best she could a boy younger, but it seemed almost as big as she herself, when one remarked to her how heavy he must be for her to carry, when instantly came the reply: 'He's na heavy. He's mi brither.'"
Who do you love more, your child who has a condition such as Asperger Syndrome or autism -- or your child who doesn’t? Dumb question? It may not seem so dumb to a child who sees his or her parents devoting large amounts of time to a brother or sister with special needs.
Our DVD to help brothers and sisters understand siblings with Asperger Syndrome is complete. My wife, Julie, and I interviewed children and adults from sixteen families. While we heard a lot about difficulties and challenges, we also heard a lot of optimism.